Stalking old highschool crushes

I'm really not trying to be creepy or weird, it's just life is so short... and I thought it be quite cool for some women to know how I felt and really... I was hoping for them to answer back positively.  You know, like how I would love to have loved them back in the day.  Really, I'm not the social type and high school was crazy, I was doing a lot of shit on my own at home away from school and I never mixed both education and business together, it was unethical.   I've overcame a lot of obstacles and fears, and I stand here today a new man, a changed man. A healthier man.    

I don't really mean to creep, stalk or fill anyone's head with nonsense, I really mean the things I say.  Like when I wrote Molly, I meant every word.  I was naive, huh?    Well, that's fine.  There were so much going on at school that I never took part in when I had the potential to.  Besides sports, like hanging out with all the sluts and jocks.  I could have done that.  But on most days I hurried home to hang out with my older brother, Samantha, smoked dope and drive around into B-town.  God, if I could just go back, I could social engineer myself into a lot of women's pants but that's not even what I want.

I just want to have that one moment where you feel unstoppable. 

Where you stand on-top of the world and look down at everyone else for once.

Knowing you got the girl you liked , and you're the luckiest guy.

See, if Jenni had been apart of Colchester High School, my time at school would have been a great time, I'd have no regret. Samantha, she was a fucking loser.  She'd puke after every meal just so she can lose weight. 

She dropped out and did nothing with her life.  My parents helped raise my daughter.  I always gave Samantha more credit for raising my Daisy but the truth is, Samantha didn't do shit until she got a settlement from our divorce. It was a small settlement and I was losing everything as it was, so I couldn't win custody over Daisy.  Something else I regret.  God, having a child at such a young age could really screw up all of your plans.   Jenni, man, if she had been there... I'd probably be much more popular.  Jenni really does out class me but when me and her started hooking up she was getting high, wasting money on booze, cigarettes, and pot.   

I always thought, if I had brought my drug life into my high school life, I'd also be very popular as well.  Known as the student that deals pot, dirt and ecstasy.  But only the big dumbass losers at Colchester were potheads though.  I didn't really care for those rejects.  They were a bunch of inbred faggots and to be quite frank, those jackass couldn't even afford it.  All they did was go around breaking into people's lockers and stealing shit to trade for cigarettes.   Immoral bastards.   I made a vow to beat the fuck out of that Cody kid who stole my precious iPod , 50 dollars and my driver's license.

Who the fuck steals people's ID? Really?  Fucking faggot.   So anyways, 2010, I beat the shit out of Cody in Colchester, and he cried like a bitch. Grown ass man crying. Was the most filling day of my life. Getting that sweet revenge.  Of course, he never saw it coming.   And nobody ever caught the culprit. ;-)

Anyways, back to my problem.

I've messaged a few girls from back in the days and I wanted them to understand me, to give me a chance to prove my worth.  Lo and behold, I was finally given a chance.  Met up with this girl (Amanda) and she was smoking hot, or rather beautiful.  She was a nerd's dream.  But when I met her, she brought her boyfriend along so I ended the date in like 20 minutes.  Made up this retarded reason that I had to go because I was supposed to record Gossip Girl for my "girlfriend" and at the time I wasn't with anyone XD 

Couldn't let them know that I watched Gossip Girl.  People in Vermont are boring assholes with no taste or sense of fashion. All bleeding imbeciles.

No worries.  I dated this underclassmen for a while. Lena , she was hot, just not really my type.  I don't get it.  The girls in my grade, are flat out shallow and fucking stupid but the 08 class of women are actually smart, fun and down to earth.  They couldn't careless if I was 10 years older or 10 years younger, they enjoyed my company.  

Anyway, I'm telling you all of this because, well, I finally ran into a girl from my grade, we sat and chatted, we had a blast, had many laughs and shared a great moment together.  I saw her at Ben & Jerry's.   She told me I was cute and funny back in the days and how I was the class clown, and she wished I had been more noticeable outside of school.   Was I really a ghost?

I mean, I drove a nice car, I wore nice clothes and I was the only gook in Colchester, how could I go unnoticed in a small country town? 

Well, to wrap things up, fuck this weather.
I'm just trying to get some coffee and it starts pouring rain. Fuck that.

So here I sit, at Starbucks on my dying laptop , waiting till 1PM so I can head over to Computers for Change and see if the guy ordered me that 12cell battery yet.  I got this new HP laptop but the battery duration on it is crap.  

So I figured I'd pay this dude 60 bucks to get me a 12 cell, so I could sit here at Starbucks longer and type longer useless unread blogs.  

 Enjoy the shit filled rain. 

Women with shit for standards

This post is inspired by this annoying fat bitch from facebook that I reluctantly added out of sympathy, she kept liking my posts and trying to start conversations with me so I thought it be polite to accept her friend request.
First off, she's an ugly fat looking Mexican chick, alright.  She's maybe 19 years old, give or take from Detroit.    Why am I talking to someone four years younger than me, I don't know but I'll soon remove her , especially after she reads my blog.  I will link my blog to my status when done.




Alright, two months of reading my Facebook newsfeed and this is all I read from her.  


"grr moms a bitch made me wake up at 8 am to walk my brother then i woke up my brother and he took me to mcdonalds"


-Bitch, you're already fucking 500 pounds, the last thing you need is greasy fucking fast food.  Get a fucking clue.   Avoiding much needed exercise with tainted greasy nasty breakfast from McDonalds.  


" dis boy likes me, wants me happy, my parents likes him, hes got a job and a car but i dont know why i dont like him :/"

-Cause you're a stuck up bitch trying to lose your virginity to some wannabe thug rather than chilling with a nice young gentleman.  You ever wondered why you're single and why you talk about hot boys all the time rather than being with hot boys?  It's not because you're ugly and fat.  It's because your standards are shit.  

"Snap Backs, Tattoos, Piercings, That Shit is so sexxxy (;"

-No it's not, you dumb bitch.  Only fucking boys and jobless assholes who can't get over high school dress like fucking douchebags.  I stopped wearing those retarded Snap backs in like Middle School.  They're fucking stupid.  Hats are meant to keep the sun from blurring your eyes and or to cover hair.

Tattoos, god, I regret mine.  I'm going to try and laser them all off when I get the money.  Tattoos aren't cool and they're an excuse for your stupid dumbass to fit in with a bunch of posers.  Piercings?  I don't mind dudes with their ears pierced.  I have mine but I take them out frequently.  However, dudes with fucking facial piercing are faggots. The nose, the lips, the eyebrows, wherever the fuck else, it's just stupid.  Nothing sexy about boys who haven't grown up.  I also bet that 95% of assholes who fit this description probably don't have jobs and still live at home with their mothers.  Get real and get stability in your life, otherwise be miserable and live the rest of your life with regret, I don't give a fuck.

I don't mind that she's fat or ugly, I don't really care how women look, because as a man, I respect women of all type and colour. I honestly do.

But when women are fucking morons that's when I want to bury them in my neighbours backyard since I don't have a backyard.  Oi.



This woman I've been talking about isn't the only one that has shit for standards.  There are millions of you women all around the world but mostly in the United Kingdom , America and Canada.  Everywhere else in the world, cultures stay true to tradition and the Countries like Australia that doesn't have tradition for getting two people together.   Aussie women are real laid back down to earth types that will hang out with you if you lie and tell them you play the guitar and surf.   I used to fucking pretend to be Australian and I got so much E-pussy it was unreal.    

Anyway, English women are fucking brats and they all think they're princesses.

I mean, their fucking country and nation is led by a fucking 90 year old bitch that has the same routine every fucking day. tea, crumpet, pet her puppies and more tea and biscuits.  Also English women get raped like at least twice in their lifetime.  They're weak and they're dumb, will take any drug you give them.  I could go to England and collect about a dozen women in one night with roofies , drug them, rape them mutilate them and rape their mutilated corpse.  English women are stupid and the only smart ones are soulless gingers that read too much shit and superstitious. 

American women, are the biggest fucking turn offs.  They're unbelievably dumb and obnoxious.  Of all the women in the world, they are the biggest fucking brats I have ever encountered.   I don't mind the outdoorsy type women who like hiking, biking, swimming, reading but everyone else except for the nature-loving women are fucking imbeciles.   Molly Pepper is a great example.  This is probably the 5th time I've mentioned her in my blogs.  She's a total fucking race traitor, and a disgrace to the white race , not that I care but a girl that goes down for the brothers is a girl without care.  Why I endured the agony of being in love with her is beyond me but I realise now it was a waste of time.   She dates fucking douchebags that are 24 years old, still wearing fucking snapback hats sideways and wears sport jersey everywhere they go.  Kids with no sense of style, no sense of direction, no sense for that matter.  Just fucking losers.   Not all American girls are like Molly but they are becoming more bold and they are breeding much more now with the niggers that were brought here to be slaves.  Now they fucking run our Country.   Ironic twist of fate, if you ask me.

Canadian women, god, don't get me started.

They have fucking Canadian Idol, yet like half of Canada watches American Idol.  Not that this is relevant but just something I wanted to vent.   I've loved two Canadian chicks in my life.  Jamie and Shannon.  I lied to them both because we all know women who live in Canada are all stuck up bitches too.  Only difference between Canadian and American girls are that Canadian females are much prettier.  Literally half of the fucking female models today are women from Canada.  Pam Anderson back in her prime, right from Canada.  Trist Stratus, that Wrestling Diva, god she's beautiful.  And pretty much every hot female Actress in Hollywood as well.  Anyways, Canadian women are dumb and they don't know what they want.    Jamie, or however she spelled her name, she was one of my finest love.  I lied to her which I really do feel terrible about because I ruined and wasted a lot of her time for my reckless lies and bullshit.   If I could go back, I'd probably hijack someone's car and drive up to Canada and be there for her Birthday party like she wanted me to do.  I would have spoiled her if I knew how much I'd like her after she left me.

I take too much shit for granted and I promise, in another life I'll make it up to all the people I've forsaken. 

Oh, and emo girls are straight up, fucking ugly and retarded.

Stop with the Rawr and the cupcakes and go back to cutting yourselves.

My name's Thanh Praiwan Mai and I live in a boring fucking town with boring fucking people and I am surrounded by douchebags that can't hold a job if their life depended on it.   Uneducated fucks. 

Math class's top student.

Wasn't me but I sure was the brightest, believe it.  Teachers always told me, if I had written down how I solved the equations , I'd be an A+ student in math classes.   Well, that's too bad, I always had the right answers but I never worked them out on paper.  I really solved everything in my head.  That's how I go at math problems.  I would sit in class with my hoody and listen to my iPod while cranking answers to silly equations out like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. 




See, I didn't go to school for the grades or for any special attention.  I went to school to learn and to keep me occupy throughout the mornings and afternoons.  I was always giving my teacher trouble.  Especially the English teachers and history teachers.  I remember correcting my Math teacher and giving him a new formula to solve for X, he tossed me out of class and I pissed under the crack of the door to the classroom.  Got suspended for five days, not bad.    Creative Writing teacher would give us the most retarded assignments and I always done them on something that was raunchy, racist, explicit and obscene.   I've had to rewritten about 50 papers because of the topics I discussed.  Normally about drugs, addiction, Hitler, Racism, and niggers.   




I really did love school, I loved everything about it.  Where you stand , where you fit in and where you don't.  It was like a game.  Like all schools, we stereotyped our classmates and we separated apart from them at the lunch tables, in the yard, in gym.   But in Math classes, everyone came to me.  Honestly, I don't know why people came to me.  Maybe it was because I could solve their equations or answer their questions.  I literally gave all the cheerleaders and whores answers off my paper.  They always complained because I never showed them the way to solve it.  They ask if I had a special calculator that solved equations for me and I never answered.    That's what my teachers were concerned about that I was cheating.   I never cheated in my life except for Science and Chemistry.  Biology too. I fucking hated that shit.  When it came to their formulas, I knew them in the back of my head but I hated building projects or even worse, I hated presenting my projects in front of the classroom.  Science really isn't my thing nor is tech.


By my senior year, I only had like three mandatory classes that I had to attend.  Classes in high school are roughly around an hour and a half long, so I had a lot of time off from school senior year.   In fact, I rarely was seen my senior year at school.  I'd drive to school at like 10:30 AM for my first class, Advance Writing and Philosophy, Poetry and this one math class about learning how to write checks and other stupid retarded shit like stocks and I guess that's it.    In that senior year math class, they held a competition for all the seniors in the state.  Some stock and share holding simulator and the top five students that made the most profits would earn like 500 dollars and recommendation for college if we ever wanted to major in stock holding , business and whatever other shit.  I honestly, didn't care for any of that.  I just wanted my day to end as quickly as possible.    Well, bad news.  They assigned us a partner.  It was a two student partner competition and I had this new chick who moved from like Arkansas to Vermont and she had a lot of zits on her face but she was at the same time really pretty and down to earth.  I would have asked her out if I wasn't dating Becky at the time. 




When the project started, me and this chick I think her name was Amanda, I'll have to check my Year Book to find out but who really cares anyways?  Amanda and I exchanged numbers and she would always grab the morning papers and read the stock market to me, mostly we did this in the cafeteria but some times I'd grab us bagels on A days when we had this math class together and we'd chill out in my car.   She wanted to plan everything out with me together because she knew I didn't really show up in class much, haha.
Well, I already picked the five-six businesses that I wanted to buy thousands of shares from.  Microsoft, Apple and at the time McDonalds was doing their whole Monopoly boardgame thing again so I bought a bunch of shares for McDonalds.   She wanted to buy some car companies , some oil companies and the ones she picked fucking ruined us.  I bought a ton of shares for movie production companies as well because of major box office hits, and the retards in my senior class were too stupid to think about product and merchandise release and the hype and attention they would draw.  All of those idiots bought shit for like Beer Company, Sports team, and shit that appealed to them coming off as "cool."  




Well, Amanda said she refused to work with me on this because I was in control of everything and that I was a control freak who despised her or some crap.  So the teacher split the both of us up and she was working on her thing and I was working on mine.  I told  her, she should have stayed with me because we were already ahead of everyone in earnings by a large margin and still she refused because she wanted to buy fucking girly girl products and the whole music industry shit that appealed to her and the media loving faggots. 
Well, 90 days of this went by and finally they announced the top five students and teams, and well, I was number 1. I had won and crushed my competition by a couple million dollars.   Each student was given 10 thousand dollars to buy stocks and shares.  I made 10 thousand turn into 14 million dollars in three months of navigating the system.  Don't believe me?  Ask my former teacher.  She's a total slut that drinks regularly at Mike's pub on Main St. I'll look up the number but you can call the place at any time from 9pm to 10pm and ask for her.  Fuck, I honestly don't even remember her name it was something crazy like Ms. Schuzpow12873467124jdgfash.    Exactly.  I'd think up a better story to tell if I was in the mood for lying.


Amanda made the teacher force me into splitting my 500 dollar earnings even when I presented evidence that every stock that Amanda purchased, I sold the day after she left my team.  So, out of generosity I gave her 250 dollars and she still felt like she was something special, like she really tried to claim credit for my victory.    This is why I hate doing projects with other people.  I sit and do all the fucking work and later, they claim credit for shit they barely put any effort into.  It's a fucking mockery and a damn insult.   






By the way, Amanda has two half black half whatever the fuck she is, some freaky zitfaced conniving bitch babies and she's chubby, single and unemployed.  I pay taxes, and some of my tax money goes to this bitch so that she can continue to live.  Such fucking bullshit.  The government, the feds, the whoever can do anything about this should go fucking put a bullet into her head and dump her nigger babies into the water and let them drown. 
It's fucking disgusting how we let losers, fucking lazy nigger loving pieces of shit like her live and we must pay taxes for them to fucking take up all of our resources.   I am fucking heartless, so the fuck what?  When you get a fucking job, have a family and must pay taxes, you will understand what I am going through.   It's not even like I'm complaining about taxes and niggers this time.  I'm complaining that everyone who fucking graduates high school should be more than capable to get a fucking job and do something with their life.  I know a kid who dropped out of school sophomore year just so he can work full time to support his family and his own drug addiction.  I couldn't give a shit about his drug addiction or how he spent his money but at least he did something about it.  




I hate lazy fucks who refuses to make a differences in their own life.
People who sit around waiting for others to do something for them. 
Fuck you. I'll fucking shove a graphing calculator up your fat fucking ass and ram my entire arm up through your anus and grab your beating heart and crush it in the palm of my hands.  I have a lot of rage buried in me and one day, one of these fucking losers will feel my wrath.  






Yours truly, 


The Brightest Math student of Colchester High School. 

My PO wants me to work at the Boys and Girls Club

I laughed in his face when he offered me a new day job at the Boys and Girls club, here in Burlington.  I thought he was joking but he was serious.  He said I could quit my job at the Hotel and work with kids for shit pay.    I always thought my PO knew me better than most people did. Like he understood me.

Let me tell you all the bad things and reasons why I will never work at the Boys and Girls club.  

1)  It's all fucking African kids who can't speak English and the only words they know how to say is food and hungry followed by a motion of belly rubbing to show that they're starving niggers.  

2)  I'll probably influenced the children in a bad way, teach them bad things.

I'd probably make all the white and Asian kids racists, form a cult for children and brainwash them into believing niggers are vile savages.  Fucking primal criminals and AIDs infested apes.   

3)  The pay is a fucking joke. It's $8.25 per hour.  I'm not looking after a bunch of wild niggers for eight dollars.  I have taxes to pay thanks to these niggers and the nigger of a president, Obama.  I have taxes, I have a family now and I've just started getting my life together.  I make more than twice that at my current job where I work with friendly down to earth potheads that play poker all night and drink whiskey from a water bottle.  Fuck that noise.

4)  It's fucking summer, and I rather not be stuck inside all fucking day watching children in 90-100 degree weather. What's fucking wrong with you?

Who would even take such a fucking shitty job?   I walk out at nights in the garage parking lot, and I get a uniform with simple tools for the job.

Why would I trade that for a shitty Boys and Girls yellow tied-dyed shirt that says staff on the back?  Really?  At least have a fashion sense, right?

My woman loves my black uniform and how I wear my NY Yankees hat with it with the belt showing just enough to shout swag.  I come home and unzip my pants and drop my trouser and turn my woman on.  I can't go home with some ugly fucking yellow shirt.  Fuck that in the ass.





Anyways, I love kids and all, but niggers, no thanks.
Hell, if I saw a nigger boy drowning in 5 feet deep water right in front of me, I wouldn't move a muscle to save his fucking ass.  I'd stand there and laugh as he watches me in his final seconds struggling to swim.    I would then drag his dead weight body out from the water and cut gills into him and throw him back into the water and laugh as I think to myself he would emerge from the water slapping his feet together swimming like a dolphin.   That's what I would do.   Then a bunch of real dolphins will swim up to him and kill him. 
No such thing as a nigger dolphin. It would offend them greatly that a nigger ape would disguise himself as such a beautiful elegant creature such as the Dolphin species.   I hate niggers. 

Some chick I cybered.

Yeah, I had cyber sex.  Words went in my butt and came out my dick all white and sticky.  I'm actually not trying to poke fun of cyber sex, it's actually very creative and it takes a wonderful imagination to receive the full climax of it all.  Trust me, my imagination is wild and vivid.   In fact, I could say that my dick erects harder when I imagine sex than when I watch porn.  I could lay in bed and just imagine taking a girl's ass and slamming it through the mattress. 





Anyway, this is less about cybersex than it is about this chick.
This was about three years ago.  Her name is Jessica and she was really hot, I loved her and I fantasizing about her because everyone in this forsaken homosexual, nigger infested state, Vermont, is all fucking ugly.  At least the white women are.  They're all fat and being skullfucked by 12inch nigger dick, which really is disgusting in all senses.   Jessica, now, she was beautiful but she was much younger than I, she was like 6 years younger, I believe. Maybe not, let's see.


She was like 15-16 3 years ago, yeah?  
Three years ago I was 20... So yeah, I'm a pedophile or just a normal man, with the lust to bone one girl younger than the age limit permits.  That, my friend is called love.  I did love her too, I constantly thought about her and dreamed of giving her a beautiful luxurious life.   Before I was arrested three years ago, I had it all, living with my older brother, moving from places to places, exchanging cars for cars and traveling the world, my pockets were never empty.  I thought about Jessica and I didn't know much about her other than the obvious.  She was a super fucking slut.  Hell, she even dated this nigger named Chase or Jase, whichever.   It was a suitable name for a nigger, right?  Niggers are always on the run from authority, whatever, you got the pun I was trying to make.   Anyway, Jessica was beautiful, the woman I desired but everything about her I hated.  And fuck you, I'm not shallow, she really got me thinking about her a lot.   Which was odd, because at that time I was also dating another girl.   You know that Usher song, "You Make Me Wanna"?  


Let me tell you about Jessica.


She's a fucking loser, a down right fucking whore-ass retard.
When I first met her, she thought she was a smart cookie, but I fucking knew she was dumb.  She was "home schooled" but we all know that means you're a dropout fuck that works the corner avenue while your mum works the strip pole.   But seriously, when I met her, she lacked ambition and knowledge. Knowledge that could actually get her a smart boyfriend, she was the type of girl every fucking nerd fingered their butts over.  
She had an adorable voice too, I masturbate every time I talked to her on the phone.  I think she caught on after a few phone calls when I started squealing like a pig and moaning like a whore.   I don't grunt, by the way. That's just retarded.   You ever seen the faces you make during sex , during the climax? 
Right as you come, you make the most retarded face, I've seen it.  I have mirrors in my room, and it's one of my little fetishes, to watch myself fuck.

Well back to the topic, Jessica was a dumbass when I first met her.
Her grammar was way off, and she tried to whore herself into every conversation that was taking place in the chatrooms.  


Guy 1:  no fuck you troll
Guy 2: lulz u mad bro
Guy 1: ur mom is mad troll
Guy 2: lel your mums a whore i've fucked her
Jessica: fuck my mom too hehe
Guy 1: shut up bitch
jessica: make me with ur cock 
Guy 2: goodfight aids and stds 
Guy 1: dont want your used gapped puss bitch 
Jessica:  brb fingering myself

Jessica had all these piercings on her face, it was kind of ugly , and the only thing about her appearance I didn't like.  Besides for tiny nipples, piercings stood out more.  I hate those kinds of girls that thought piercings were fashionable.  They're made for your ears and only for your ears.

So, Jessica was a dropout , unemployed whore that stayed on the internet 12 hours a day, mostly on Flixster and myspace.   The more she and I talked, the harder she tried to impress me by acting smart.   Remember above, how I said she had no ambition and she was a loser?  Well, that loser told me she wanted to be a paramedic.  Who the fuck wants to be a paramedic?
Why not be an escort whore?  Go to parties and stand next to rich guys and get paid for looking sexy and making the lonely dumbass without a lover look good?   All if not most, people who hire female escorts, are lonely assholes who think of themselves as playboys , tailor-maid faggots, you know.
Jessica could be one of those, if only she had bigger tits.  God, damn.
She has the tiniest titties, like 5 year old undeveloped baby tits.  
Which now that I have her tits on my mind, I see no future with her at all.  She couldn't breast feed if we had a child together.  And I'll be dammed if we had a wet nurse.


Let's see the list of wrongs about her so far.


Small tits.
Major slutbag.
Facial piercing.
Nigger lover.
Dropout with no education.
And by the way, she dropped out Freshmen year.




Anyways, she started to turn herself around. 
She took out her piercings, she improved her grammar and she left Chase the fat nigger with dreads rolled up on his head.  He was a major pussy too. A soft as nigger that carried AIDs inside his penis.   God, why of all places, would you want to cyber-date a nigger?   I understand the crave and desire women have for big large fat dicks, so you close your eyes and pick a nigger at random in some bar, hoping he'd take you home and fuck your pussy loose.




Here's the thing, people. 
Niggers don't have hard erected dick. I've seen more porn than you've breathed oxygen.  My life's dedicated to porn, or was.  And niggers have large soft dicks that just curves down.  That's why they like to fuck chicks from behind because a woman laying on her back couldn't feel the pleasure of a nigger's dick going into her pussy while the dick curved down.  So she'd have to change her position to get the most out of a nigger's dick.   It's a fact, retards.  I've studied sex, alright.  I have sex, every night with different women, till I met Jenni. I promise.  Hell, I had so much pussy back then, I had pussy falling out my pocket.  Watch your step, yea?




There's nothing to niggers that's attractive or desirable.
They're all savages and criminals.  They all carry AIDs from a long line of breeding and ancestry.  Descendants of Africans who had 20 wives, and they had no condom to protect their wiener.   Raping women from their tribe until they got shot in the face with a blowdart and snagged and shipped over to America a divided nation at the time.  



God, I hate niggers so much.  It's hard to keep on subject when everything I blog boils down to my rage and anger which is hatred caged inside of me. 





Anyways, after I got out of Jail, I contacted Jessica immediately, I told her I loved her, and all that.  She was a whore, so she didn't understand love and I probably was confused about it too.  I really did masturbate in my cell all the time while I was in jail.  Just shooting loads thinking about Jessica.
I dreamt that her tits were bigger and that she was older and that we'd be a happy couple, always boning and every year it would seem we'd be reproducing by mixing our DNA into a baby sperm that would later grow inside her.  That was my dream, my thoughts, my way of letting myself know that outside these prison walls, I had a girl that I loved and was waiting for me to rescue her from her whore-life of disappointment.   So we cyber dated. 
I know, fuck off. Love isn't a luxury and it's complicated. 
We didn't last longer than a day before she broke up with me. XD!


But we were like this on and off for the next couple of months, getting together and than calling it off.   She definitely was a troublesome young whore, that my mind kept thinking about.  You know what else she is?
A fucking thieving lying whore.  We said we'd write letters to each other and shit, and I did, I wrote a cheesy letter and sent her a photo of me pissing my pants standing at this railing where I saw Santa for the first time in some mall in California where I first lived.  That fucking bitch never sent it back nor wrote me a letter.    After that, my thoughts about her progressed and every thought was violent.  I wanted to beat the legs out from under her, she'd have to slide and crawl on the floor muscling her vagina to inch herself across the floor.  She'd be a legless walking vagina.   I wanted to beat her so bad.
Even my little brother at the time wanted to beat her.  His idea was to slice her tiny nipples off and take a 14inch blade and saw through her vagina slicing her in half from the vaginal region up to her waist and chest, then he'd fill her insides with candy and sew the split half bodies back together and make a 

piñata out of her. 

God she kept breaking my heart at the time, I finally gave up and dated this pothead chick i slept with once at a party.  Her name was Lena. She's the exact opposite of Jessica but Lena was boring as fuck. I didn't want to spend another dime on weed just so the two of us could spend time doing something together.  Everything we ever did together cost money.  Like we can't even walk down the beach without her asking for like 20 dollars to buy ice cream or some pot dealer she saw at the beach.     Haha, Lena broke up with me because I didn't want to watch Dear John with her when she rented the movie.  

Jessica would never do that.

Jessica would break up with me because she found some other nigger on the internet that made her laugh.  Jessica was a major whore, I hate her so much.

I just about then, me and her kind of parted ways for a while, I got arrested again, and for the three months I sat in the hole, I never once thought about her, she had hurt me pretty badly.  Crushed my dreams and gave me no chance of hope for the future.   I served my time and I came back to my old self, having sex with every walking creature within a five mile radius that had a vagina.   

A woman like Jessica is nothing but trouble. 

She's the kind of woman that if you yell at, she'll yell back and threaten to slit your throat while you sleep then fart into the cut, blowing the blood that would gush out from the hole, back into the stream and flow of the veins, she'd prop you up and take a nine iron and start swinging at your head, so that you'd be alive to feel the pain.  She's a psycho and it's because nobody loves her truly for who she is but only for her body.  Fuck that. If I had known her titties would get bigger, I would have tried to work it out with her.  Fuck Jenni.  A Jessica with titties is a Jessica for me but she had none at the time! 

Honestly though, I'm actually happy for her, she's working now and probably has her GED.  She's talking to me again and we're on good terms. 

I think she's happy for me too.  Wonders how things work out between two former flames.  Though, I'm sure she never liked or cared about me as I cared about her but she's doing well, looking good and her tits got bigger. 

Or maybe she's disguising her small tits with some socked stuffed bras?

I'll have to investigate and get some psychical evidence, right?

Oh and the lesson of the day is,

Stay away from breastless girls with tattoos and dropped out of school.

They're whores and they are psychos that will kill you in your sleep.

And never write to any of them, pen pals are done and over with in this generation.  Also, don't send them money, photos, or anything that means anything to you. They'll never send them back, let alone write you a letter.

And a when you have cyber sex, be creative, and let them know affirmatively, that your dick is hard and it's slapping from palm to palm right now, with the thought of her.  They'll totally love you.  

Dudes and cellphones.

What's the big idea, bitch?




I'm taking a stroll from Sea-Side parking lot, where I park my car to walk to the library every other day or so . On two different occasions, two different fucks bump into me because they were looking down at their phones, texting.   I swear to god, and I posted this on facebook, too.  I will fucking punch the next guy that bumps into me looking down at his phone like a fucking faggy piece of shit.   There's really no fucking way to explain how mad I am.  I have a phone, a blackberry and recently, Jenni bought me an Android.
I've probably made about three fucking texts in the past 6 months.   I have about 90 people on my contact list and probably called over 200 different people from my phone.   And in all that time, this year, I've texted three times give or take.    Sure, I used to tweet from my phone but never while driving or walking on the sidewalk where I may crash or bump into people. Fucking retards.  Pick your nuts up, seriously.  








Only girls and women are the exception for their texting addiction, because women are fucking dull and having chats with them over the phone are boring.    If you're a man , dragging your feet while you walk looking down heavily awaiting with anticipation or jamming your fingers down at your fucking keys, while you should be looking to see if someone is walking in front of you, then you deserve to get yourself beat.  Fucking nigger was staring down at his fucking blackberry walking crisscross, fucking taking up the whole side walk and bumps into me and says "dawg............"   Fuck you, nigger.   






You know those fucking boys who think they're tough shit when they're sitting up at 3AM in their bed texting their other boyfriends asking what they're doing?  I mean besides what every other person besides your own lonely ass, we're all sleeping.  Yet you think it's a brilliant idea to send us texts. 
That's the only reason I keep my phone off when I'm sleeping.   That's also why I don't give out my number to just anyone.  I did that once, gave my number to a kid I met and he blew up my phone with texts like a fiend.
Fucking A.  I wish they'd just keep phones simple.  Now people can sit at park benches and browse the net on their phone while texting and being a complete faggot all to themselves.  I just hate the idea that men are succumbing to such feminine activities such as constant texting and living your life on a phone. 






Has this world become so distant that we all fucking text and tweet down everything rather than using what phones were made to do, like calling the person?   How low has society fallen?  












In other news , my sister is back in Jail.
My brother and I made about 2grands in a couple of nights roaming the streets.  I won't get into too much details but I do have a new laptop and iPod.   He's got a rifle and a hunting knife, yea.



Probably the biggest news is that I'm going to have a son.
Yeah, bitches. I thought it'd be longer till find out but Jenni went in and got examined and they saw the fetus and he definitely had my dick, that baby had a 2inch erected boner slapping against Jenni's belly.  That two inch will only get bigger with time like his father.  Yours truly.  In seriousness, it's a boy and me and Jenni are spending the whole weekend together trying to come up with a traditional Vietnamese name with meaning for our boy.   This is truly the most wonderful time in my life.  I get off paroles in two months if not less, and Jenni's due in Mid September.   My child will be blessed with perfect health and great looks, taking after his mother, really. He's going to rock a mohawk, believe it, assholes.    




After this baby , we're going to take a few months off to prepare and start our family then at the end of April, we're getting married.   So I expect a bunch of fucking gifts from all of you.    I have really turned my life around.  It took two years and a felony charge but honestly, who could say that my life sucks right now?   My girlfriend is fifty times more attractive than I'll ever be or get another of, she's irreplaceable and most importantly, she believes in me.





So does your mum and aunties, you faggots. 
Have a good weekend, yea?

Pissed Off!

It pisses me off how internet forums and chat rooms have gone to shit.
Every community I've visited is filled with festering fucks who think they know how to troll or think others fail, as if repeating the same fucking "you fail" line makes you any better.   I can't have open arguments and debates with anyone, it's impossible to find serious threads without some moron referring to trolls, umadbro, and you fail.   Since when has the internet sucked so much ass?  It's the same shit with retards who listens to Lil Wayne and says he's poetic and he's swag and balling. 

First off, I'd slam dunk over Lil Wayne.

Secondly, there's no poetry in any of his shit.

Finally, he doesn't even write his own lyrics.

I can't find a single fucking community that doesn't consist of retarded "trolls", fucking nigger lovers and homosexual supporters.  I just want a community without gay fag supporters and dumbass trolls.  I don't even care if I have to tone my language down a little.  I can control my aggressive nature simply if I had to and I would just only if I could find a respectable community.   Also the moderators and admins would have to be logical and not big fucking power hungry cocksucking fucks.

I've only ever been apart of like four communities, really.

Flixster.com  Chat rooms and forums.ha

Powerbot.org IRC, Flame section and Random section.

Myspace Forums L&R , R&P , and the Anime section mostly.

RuneScape: Castle War Community.

See, Flixster, that was an original and a great community once.

I've gotten at least 20,000 post counts there,and I was known everywhere.
If I could take back some of the lies I've told on flixster, I would, trust me.

I've done and said some pretty shitty stuff that makes my stomach twist to this day, just thinking about it.   At least on flixster there were a ton of cute and adorable girls.  Some whores too.   I loved Flixster but I guess me and Shane helped ruin the Chatrooms with all of our trolls that got a bunch of kids crying to Admins.   It didn't help that I spammed a bunch of porn from trannies to gay men.  Then some asshole by the name of Rob took over and he had his ideas of making Flixster less social and more based around movies.  He led the whole Flixster Expert project.   That one time, I hacked Flixster to redirect users who clicked on their profile, they got redirected a Keylogger and Malware viruses.  It was the best and most notorious day in my life.  I even met the owner of Flixster in California, though under terrible circumstances.
Soon after, the forums got destroyed. We were no longer able to post HTML, no photos, no bold letters, no large letters and no links.  Forums were coming to an end and everyone knew it.    Everyone joined Facebook, created groups and pages, the whole she-bang.  Anyways, I met some of my best friends from Flixster.  Shane and Richard.

As for Powerbot, used to be fun.  Used to be filled with infamous troll phrases.  It was the first community I joined that allowed posting of porn, gore, bloody nuns and allowed us to talk shit to each other with little to no consequences.  I got hooked in the Flame Section, of course, post counts there didn't exist in that section, otherwise I would have had thousands of posts.  I shortly became a moderator there when I had my own personal RuneScape service.  I had so many vouches, so many views, so many orders and I was stealing everyone else's orders.  I had cheap and the fastest time done for Torsos.   Of course, I was a member of Barbarian Assault Addicts, and our clan finished games within 20 minutes, and we had secret methods of accumulating max points per round.   Being apart of Powerbot, I became more honest about things, about myself in particularly.

Myspace forums were the best.  My older brother used it too, so I could see what he was up to.  He met a few chicks from Myspace, and scored with them.     He's into that shit, meeting up with strangers and fucking them.  Some of them were hot, some cute, but none I'd fuck, personally.  I'm strictly Asian girls only now.   Again, he used the forums, I used the L&R (Love and Relationship) forums everynow and then but mostly, I used Religion and Philosophy.   I earned my first forum badge from R&P.  The Loyalty badge and the Protector badge.  For users who are active and for users who defend their religion and such.   The Anime forums were cool until it became less about anime and more about the retarded nonstop drama that escalated throughout all the other forums with the random invasion and shit.   Anyways, I used Myspace for stalking my school crush. Rebecca and Molly.  

RuneScape, CWC:  Was the best.  Cal, Aaron, Josh, Robert, Daz and Jarred.

God, CWC was the best.  I became popular and famous instantly when I first joined.  No, I was introduced and by Cal whom I met playing Castle Wars.  He was helping me learn the roots, the fundamentals of the game. Advance tactics and everything else he knew.    Shortly, I joined a real Castle War Clan and that's when everyone knew me from W52 on the RuneScape servers.   I was the ladies-man of the forums on CWC. Since everyone who played Castle Wars was Asian and Belgium, I was one of the better looking Asian guys.  

But of course, I was still young and foolish, I took advantage of a bunch of the girls and exposed their nudes to my other guy-friends.   They were all "Yo come on m8 let's get dem nudes pls I'll pay 10m"   It was like free money.

Anyways, I got hacked in the end, lost everything, was betrayed by friends and I had no interest in those Asian girls so I gave up, and leaked all the nudes I had and made fun of Jarred's cancer.   He was a bald 17 year old that used cancer to guilt women into internet dating him.   It was a hoot, sitting around watching him go up to girls on runescape and asking them out.  He ALWAYS mention cancer.  "Oh hey.  I bet you're cute and pretty in real life, I can tell from your pixel that you have a wonderful personality, I don't know if you have a boyfriend or not but I'm single, and you seem really wonderful want to date me?  I got cancer and I may die at any given time, which I hope you don't mind, I suffer a lot from trauma, abuse, and people who make fun of me.  But I'm strong, and I won't hurt you, I promise. "  So fucking epic.

But yea, I used to guilt Jarred into giving me bucket loads of gold, he was rich on runescape.  He must've had at least 50b from staking and hacking all of his little girlfriends.    

I miss these communities but I won't return to them. 

I need somewhere new, some place where nobody knows who I am so I can alter my attitude to adjust in with an entirely new and active community. 

teenzforums, rsportal, runedream, tekkennation, yugiohforums, 1channel.ch, fucking Maruku's shitty site, forgot what it was called... they even banned me. 

Every place I go, I'm neither welcomed nor appreciated for my honesty.

These kids, they want to live in their make belief world, in their shitty dicksuck community for ranks and popularity, rather than learning and being told the truth, expanding their intellectuals.