Thursday, May 31, 2012

Where have we been?

Well, I'm terribly sorry for the delays in my blog sessions, I've been on quite the adventure of my own. Not too long ago, actually it was this past Saturday that I proposed to my girlfriend Jenni and she said yes.  After six months of dating and being five months pregnant, I've found the girl to settle down with.  

My Casanova days are over. 
Sorry ladies. XXX

Now that I got that out of the way
There's a list of things I want to explain.

I hang out at the library twice or maybe even three times a week.  My internet is out at home, due to some pedophile fiend at home abusing his rights.  He ruined all of our internet privileges, so I'm just going to the Library for a little bit after work to hang out.  I stay till I'm tired or till my girlfriend calls.  I don't do much here. I just download music and other shit I may need while I don't have access at home. Download some games, whatever, you know.  Always a nigger there to ruin everything for people. 

I met this girl named Ashley at the Library, she's homeless, and she's beautiful.   She's really down to earth.  I'm trying to help her fill Job Applications online and shit while I'm here, doing a deed for someone in need.   She's real cool, she plays Call of Duty on PSP and sleeps at the library. Haha.  But yea, we're friends and I buy her food and drive her around to drop off job applications.  I hope she can get a job soon.  Even without luck, she smiles at me like she knows every thing will work out for her. 

My daughter killed Kyogre on my saved file of Pokemon Sapphire. 
Not sure if I should be angry or happy. Because on that file, I intended on capturing it but at the same fucking time... SHE KNEW TO USE MAGNETRON TO KILL KYOGRE!  She said to me "Daddy daddy, I used Spark like fifty times and killed the big blue kiger!"   Love her.

Church on Sunday, yea, last Sunday the reverend congratulated me and told me in private, that the confessions I make from now on better not be about committing adultery.  He's a good man. Father Thompson.
He said he'd love to baptize my child when it's born. 

Can't wait. Going to be a happy Christian family.
We're going to live in the country and if I am blessed with a son, he's going to become a town hero.  Grow up to be successful in all sports he plays in High School. Every girl is going to want to date and bang the fucking brains out of him. He's going to be fucking smart and sexy.  
I bet Kyle Shappley just popped a boner imagining my great legacy.

My High School reunion is coming up. It has really been like two years since the last reunion.  My school is pretty clingy and I'm not excluding myself from this theory at all, I'm one of the most fucking clingy ones there are but I don't ask for reunions.  I get invited to them though.  I really love and miss my high school years. I'd give everything to live those years again.
I beg god to let me indulge in my past memories of high school moments.
I'm so grateful, for my friends, families, and God, who gave me a second chance, my Sophomore year.  The year I lost weight and grew tall, tripping on my own swag, and was already on a fast track of becoming a man.

Anyways, it's going to be embarrassing showing up at a reunion , especially if it's a Hawaiian fucking theme party. Can't wear shorts to reveal my goddamn ankle brace. Fucking GPS will make me look lesser than everyone.  Only like two people from my High School knew I was arrested on drug charges and shit.  Kind of looks like it's weighing between Hawaiian theme and just bar hopping town.  Would much prefer to Bar Hop but I have work and other responsibilities.  God, I went to school with a bunch of redneck drunks.
Probably why I drink so much, growing up , partying with all of them, having my first drink , being absolute vodka, and still to this day, I fucking drink that regularly. But I'm not an alcoholic, I just love the taste and after affects. 

Speaking of High School, I hope none of you guys who read this ever take high school for granted like I did. These four years, are going to be the most memorable four years of your life.   Not a day goes by do I not ponder the thought of going back and reliving those joyful moments or moments I didn't take advantage of.   I could have been the greatest fucking pitcher to come from my school but I got into drugs, and gave up on my dreams of being a pro athlete. I was like Hideo Nomo but sexy and less chink looking.

My dream house.  I've given my fiancée the task of finding us a home in the country area, where we can settle down and have our family and maintain our career.   Seems like my career will be a fucking security guard and she'll become a school teacher.  This will be so fucking hot.   After she finishes school, she's going to apply to be a special ed teacher, to help students and gradually grow into a spot at a local school and become a teacher. That's her dreams and goals.    Mine, I just want to make more than 15 dollars an hour. 
Minimum wage is $7.50 here and I make $18 an hour working third shift.
I don't know why people don't apply for more third shifts. They're the best but I guess people like to sleep at night and wake up to a beautiful sunrise.  Fuck them. It's all about making money and they offer so much more to people who work the third.     Oh right, I was explaining my dream house. Let's try again.

My dream house.   I'm trying to have my lady find us a home with a nice large backyard in the countryside of this piece of shit area filled with faggots and niggers.   I want to go back and live in Colchester and raise my child, maybe even children there.  Somewhere by a nice large lake, so I can buy a boat , somewhere where there's little next to zero niggers.  It's possible, trust me. Just find land next to farms and cotton fields. Niggaz be runnin' from dat shit.
Anyways in the back yard of my home, I'm going to recreate the Garden of Eve.  There's going to be an Elysian field, filled with apples, plums, peaches, and grapes.  Exotic flowers that I haven't even heard of will grow here.
Roses and tulips that will grow 20 feet high.
A backyard with a sandbox for my children.  
They won't be like their father who stayed in and played Pokemon all day.
I mean, they will play pokemon, but they're going to be playing it outside.
I'ma have a projector built in my child's bedroom, that'll stream Pokemon and other awesome cartoon series such as Looney Toons , Rugrats , Doug and Hey Arnold until they're 9 years old.  They will become Pokemon masters in their own rights and when they are both 9, they will prove themselves, who is the better Pokemon Trainer by having them link battle each other.  That's assuming I have two children with Jenni.   Once they've made their father proud, they will continue on that journey and become athletes at their school.
I'll take the fucking gameboy and smash it if they don't practice and work out. 

I want my kids to be the best at what they do. If I have a daughter, she's going to be an Olympic Gymnast.  If I have a son, he's going to be a goddamn  Basketball Player, since Yao fucking Ming is a big goddamn pussy. 

Thank you for reading, that's all I've got for today.
Until next time.


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