Stalking old highschool crushes

I'm really not trying to be creepy or weird, it's just life is so short... and I thought it be quite cool for some women to know how I felt and really... I was hoping for them to answer back positively.  You know, like how I would love to have loved them back in the day.  Really, I'm not the social type and high school was crazy, I was doing a lot of shit on my own at home away from school and I never mixed both education and business together, it was unethical.   I've overcame a lot of obstacles and fears, and I stand here today a new man, a changed man. A healthier man.    

I don't really mean to creep, stalk or fill anyone's head with nonsense, I really mean the things I say.  Like when I wrote Molly, I meant every word.  I was naive, huh?    Well, that's fine.  There were so much going on at school that I never took part in when I had the potential to.  Besides sports, like hanging out with all the sluts and jocks.  I could have done that.  But on most days I hurried home to hang out with my older brother, Samantha, smoked dope and drive around into B-town.  God, if I could just go back, I could social engineer myself into a lot of women's pants but that's not even what I want.

I just want to have that one moment where you feel unstoppable. 

Where you stand on-top of the world and look down at everyone else for once.

Knowing you got the girl you liked , and you're the luckiest guy.

See, if Jenni had been apart of Colchester High School, my time at school would have been a great time, I'd have no regret. Samantha, she was a fucking loser.  She'd puke after every meal just so she can lose weight. 

She dropped out and did nothing with her life.  My parents helped raise my daughter.  I always gave Samantha more credit for raising my Daisy but the truth is, Samantha didn't do shit until she got a settlement from our divorce. It was a small settlement and I was losing everything as it was, so I couldn't win custody over Daisy.  Something else I regret.  God, having a child at such a young age could really screw up all of your plans.   Jenni, man, if she had been there... I'd probably be much more popular.  Jenni really does out class me but when me and her started hooking up she was getting high, wasting money on booze, cigarettes, and pot.   

I always thought, if I had brought my drug life into my high school life, I'd also be very popular as well.  Known as the student that deals pot, dirt and ecstasy.  But only the big dumbass losers at Colchester were potheads though.  I didn't really care for those rejects.  They were a bunch of inbred faggots and to be quite frank, those jackass couldn't even afford it.  All they did was go around breaking into people's lockers and stealing shit to trade for cigarettes.   Immoral bastards.   I made a vow to beat the fuck out of that Cody kid who stole my precious iPod , 50 dollars and my driver's license.

Who the fuck steals people's ID? Really?  Fucking faggot.   So anyways, 2010, I beat the shit out of Cody in Colchester, and he cried like a bitch. Grown ass man crying. Was the most filling day of my life. Getting that sweet revenge.  Of course, he never saw it coming.   And nobody ever caught the culprit. ;-)

Anyways, back to my problem.

I've messaged a few girls from back in the days and I wanted them to understand me, to give me a chance to prove my worth.  Lo and behold, I was finally given a chance.  Met up with this girl (Amanda) and she was smoking hot, or rather beautiful.  She was a nerd's dream.  But when I met her, she brought her boyfriend along so I ended the date in like 20 minutes.  Made up this retarded reason that I had to go because I was supposed to record Gossip Girl for my "girlfriend" and at the time I wasn't with anyone XD 

Couldn't let them know that I watched Gossip Girl.  People in Vermont are boring assholes with no taste or sense of fashion. All bleeding imbeciles.

No worries.  I dated this underclassmen for a while. Lena , she was hot, just not really my type.  I don't get it.  The girls in my grade, are flat out shallow and fucking stupid but the 08 class of women are actually smart, fun and down to earth.  They couldn't careless if I was 10 years older or 10 years younger, they enjoyed my company.  

Anyway, I'm telling you all of this because, well, I finally ran into a girl from my grade, we sat and chatted, we had a blast, had many laughs and shared a great moment together.  I saw her at Ben & Jerry's.   She told me I was cute and funny back in the days and how I was the class clown, and she wished I had been more noticeable outside of school.   Was I really a ghost?

I mean, I drove a nice car, I wore nice clothes and I was the only gook in Colchester, how could I go unnoticed in a small country town? 

Well, to wrap things up, fuck this weather.
I'm just trying to get some coffee and it starts pouring rain. Fuck that.

So here I sit, at Starbucks on my dying laptop , waiting till 1PM so I can head over to Computers for Change and see if the guy ordered me that 12cell battery yet.  I got this new HP laptop but the battery duration on it is crap.  

So I figured I'd pay this dude 60 bucks to get me a 12 cell, so I could sit here at Starbucks longer and type longer useless unread blogs.  

 Enjoy the shit filled rain.